Some questions need answers. If you aspire to be something, and you fall short. Ask the people who deemed your efforts not good enough why? Why did it all go wrong? What could I have done to make it better? Saul Samuels thought he had all the answers. Saul Samuels thought he had a voice. Until he aspired to be something different. Something more.
He aspired to be the guy who found out why Giant Gonzalez never ventured into professional basketball.
A task of great distinction. Be the man to bring the information to the people. A crusader for a different time. A better time. A time where every man, woman, child and jakey knows exactly why Giant Gonzalez chose wrestling in a hairy naked caveman bodysuit instead of a sport which awards tall people by having the smaller ones throw the ball towards the basket, and having the big guys tap it in. Surely big Gonzo would find an easy career in the profession eh? So why chose wrestling?
Saul asked everyone. From Harvey Whippleman, to Giant Gonzalez's da, to my da, and even Harvey Whipplemans da. Pretty much asked all the dads, and Harvey Whippleman, and got fuckin naewhere. Eventually he decided to interview the big man's former best pal, TAKFA Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, now known as 'Greg Valentine' and wee Gregor had all the answers. Much to Sauls surprise.
"He just didnae like basketball mate...preferred wrestling, so he became a wrestler"
"Oh.....well that's a simple answer, I've dedicated my whole life to this btw"
"Right....that was fairly stupid, its a bit of a pointless question. The reason he never ventured into professional basketball is the same reason why most of the population don't do it, he had no passion for the sport and didn't have enough natural ability to counteract that, so even having the height on his side never swayed it" explained Greg, in a blunt, casually erotic manner.
"Right Greg, wantae shut up, I've no got all day, fuck sake" Saul sighed, and gave his big brerr Sha a phone for a lift hame. Impossible cause Sha lives in London, and Greg Valentines house was in Alabama. Public transport it'll need to be then. Fucking came all this way for that boring as fuck answer. Is anything ever worth it?
If Saul learned anything from this whole saga its that no matter how pointless the task, no matter how many hours you sink in to completing it, even if you reach that goal, there's still ALWAYS a chance that you'll need tae endure another one of Greg "The Hammer" Valentines boring as fuck speeches.
(see...this yin's gid cause the big man actually was a pro basketball player, so its entirely based on a lie...deception is fun)
https://www.justgiving.com/Martin-Smith46/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=fundraisingpage&utm_content=Martin-Smith46&utm_campaign=pfp-tweet
No comments:
Post a Comment