They say the best stories are based on true life events eh? Someone did anyway. My da told me, and my maw only ever watches films wae true stories, so I was raised on this ethos, and its one I carry intae my adult life. So anyway. That being said, here's an enitrley fictional story about a dug who ate a guy's tuna melt whilst he was having a shite.. This is not something which literally happened 5 minutes ago. Nope. These are totally made up fictional events of FICTION.
He went for a shite. A day of disappointment. They said no. No to a potentially more prosperous future. Its a sin. Why not raise money for charity to raise everyone spirits eh? Unite a nation in terrible, sleep deprived stories. 24 hours. Mon.
Battered out the first one like "kaplow" its out there. The next ones might be a struggle. Have something to eat, have a shite. Tan some sugary juice. Stick a shot or 4 of vodka in there. Unload waste and take on fuel. Thats the plan. Thats #themessage. So the tuna melt was made. The juice was poured. And the shite was taken. Spotted the dug lying near the tuna melt before making the deposit, but thought "Nah...nae chance, she's no gallus enough" turns out underestimating how much of a fat wee shite yer dug is never ends well. The tuna was scoffed, and the melt was the guy wae his pants round his ankles as it happened. What a fuckin liberty.
Least she left the crust though eh. Every cloud.
Fuckin dug.
Gie SAMH yer money
https://www.justgiving.com/Martin-Smith46
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