No story is worth reading without a hero. No story is worth telling without a villain. And no story is a story at all without Anton Rogan. That's the rules to storytelling right there. Anton Rogan was a man. Anton Rogan still is a man, but back then he was a Northern Irish man. A man of great virtue. A man of limited, but very specialised skills. A man who owned a soda stream.
Whilst reminiscing on one of his many unsuccessful forays up the park with the ball at his feet, he contemplated what he might do with this soda stream. The two things are entirely unrelated, but lets weave them together anyway. He sat and listened to his favourite hip-hop collective The Beastie Boys and contemplated his next move. Would he produce fine sodas for worldwide consumption? Would he continue doing the question thing till he came up with some creative ideas for this story? Will there be another referendum in my lifetime? SHOULD ANTON ROGAN USE HIS SODA STREAM TO PRODUCE A BRAND OF BOWLER EXCLUSIVE COLA CALLED BOWLER COLA?
Yes. Yes he should. And yes indeed he did. The cola went fuckin viral tae. And by that I dont mean it got very very popular, I mean it was actually laced wae a deadly virus. Everyone who drunk it died instantly, but because it was trendy folk kept on drinking it. Voluntarily shovelling their own death down their throats. Theres a lot of referendum subtext in this yin eh? Nothing else seems important really. Anton Rogan was always very important. 18 caps for Northern Ireland disnae just happen. Unless yer name's Ivan Sproule.
Failed miserably to weave The Beastie Boys into this tale effectively. I mean really, would Anton Rogan be intae The Beastie Boys? He seems like more of a Daniel O'Donnell typa cunt tae me.
So Anton Rogan made a billion off this Bowler Cola. Thats nice. Thats nice for him.
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