1. Apathy
Think this guy might be Tommy Dreamer
2. Rain
Nuhin worse than bumping some geeks bike, this ye realise its aw wet. Check how wet that bike is.
3. We have heroin, hunners of it.
 |
| Peter McDougall, 24, fae Castlemilk, has been on the gear since starting Primary School. Look at him now. Silver fox. Tie on n that. Proof that heroin DOES work if you let it. |
|
|
|
|
|
4. Apathy.
5. We hate the Tories. When they come here, we boo them and sometimes pee in their shoes.
 |
| See this scar on my heid? That's fae Gordon Strachan biting me. |
|
|
|
|
|
6. Wrestling
 |
| I'M A SIDEYWAYS TREE! |
|
|
|
7. All the good comedians are Catholics
 |
| Ye hink Father Boyle's gonnae gie his talk on how masturbating will send ye tae the burny fire? Thats ma favourite |
|
|
|
8. You're legally allowed to stick yer thumb in a neds eye if he's eyeballing ye on the bus
 |
| Poor Santa, posing for one of his famous candid snaps and KAPLOW. Bus hits. Deid. |
|
|
9. They filmed a thing here, mind that? Zombies n that.
 |
| THE SASH? IN GEORGE SQUARE? NO IN MA NAME! LETS FUCKIN KILL THE BASTARDS | | | | | | | | |
10. We'll show you some truly beautiful places.
11. Indifference to everything (or 'apathy' if ye prefer)
12. We consider any kind of formal toenail or fingernail clipping to be "poofy as fuck"
 |
| This is a micro scooter wae nae wheels. Certain of it. |
|
|
|
13. Apathy
 |
| Why wont the bald bits of my goatee fill in? Wish I was deid |
14. We all know James McAvoy personally. Seriously...we dae. Here's me and him in The Garage causin it last week
 |
| Who knows aw the words tae Toca's Miracle? YOU...thats who |
15. We're dead good at snooker.
 |
| Fitbaw crazy, snooker daft. |
|
|
16. This is fuckin difficult, unless yer churning out cliches and 4 of them are variations on "Scots like a drink! LOL!" Here's some fuckin haggis.
 |
| Pacman's deid corpse, rotting away on a bed of salad. |
|
|
|
17. We'll be very honest about how mediocre we are at most hings. Such as financial prudence and sexual intercourse
18. Its perfectly acceptable to accuse the people of Aberdeen of shagging sheep. They actually love it. It pure defines them.
 |
| I'll huv her wae the moustache first. Then the wan wae the gammy leg. |
|
19. We HATE vegetables. And Liars. And people who like feet. Mainly vegetables though.
 |
| They gied me 4 valium so I look like I hate vegetables. I dont ataw. They're lovely. I wis totally melted |
|
|
|
20. Apathy
21. No matter if its a friend, loved one, enemy or stranger on the street. "Fuck up" is an acceptable retort to someone talking utter shite.
22. Fuckin.....WRESTLING
 |
| Ma boaby moustache you a question Mr Polo..hawhawhaw |
23. Auchtermuchty is the name of a real town. Here's some people walking around in it.
 |
| Startled doggers after a local photographer spots them having a post match warm down. |
Last but not least......
24. WE VOTED NO! We depend on YOU!
What's not to love eh? A bunch of scummy, shitebag bastards, but we're occasionally nice to ye if we can be arsed.
Don't come here. Its cauld, and people let the fitba teams they support make vital decisions for them.
Only kidding. FREEEDOM and all that.
